For You
by Tenshi no Hikari
Summary: Hikari's wedding day and Takeru reflects on their relationship. Takari one-shot


For you 

I sit back in my seat and try to look calm. I ignore a few curious looks as people wonder what I'm thinking. I can't let on what I feel. Not now.

As the organ starts to play I feel my palms start to sweat. I don't know why I'm nervous. It's not my wedding day after all.

The church doors swing open and we all stand. I look towards the back as you enter, looking more beautiful than I ever imagined possible. 

As you start your walk up the aisle, my heart starts speeding up. I try to calm myself down. I tell myself, _Takeru__ get a grip, she's just a girl. There are others. _But I know in my heart that it's no use. As you pass my row, looking so beautiful, so angelic, I just can't help but wonder why. Why it couldn't be me waiting up front for you. Why I couldn't muster up the nerve to tell you before. But now it's too late.

I watch as you walk- No. _Glide_ up the aisle, your eyes bright and happy. You have no idea how perfect you are. Always giving, always caring, always there. I wonder why God felt to make you so beautiful. So angelic. So graceful. So _you_.  

I know I can't change the way you feel about me. Just like I can't change the way I feel about you. But something inside of me, the eternal hope that burns within, just can't give up that thought. The thought that someday you would actually think of me as more than a friend. 

But you don't. You don't think of me that way. As I watch you beam your heavenly smile at everyone, so that they might share your happiness, I realize no angel could ever compare to your beauty. 

I watch you continue your way up the aisle, smiling and blushing with pure joy. I watch as my whole world is torn to pieces. As my very reason for living, the object of my true affection goes to another. I watch every last thought of you and I ever being together as it is shredded to pieces. I watch my heart literally break in two. I watch as a true angel finds the happiness that she truly deserves. I watch my love for you grow stronger and your love for me as it dies completely. And I smile. 

I smile because I know you deserve to find happiness. I know you deserve to have your moment. And even if your being happy means me being miserable for the rest of my life, I smile. I'll do anything for you; I try to tell you mentally. I hope you know that. I'd give up my life just to see you smile. I love you too much, and I've loved you too long to see you unhappy. 

As you reach for his outstretched hand, you smile. A little nervously, but you smile. And your smile just brightens his face. He looks so happy, I realize. As if all the waiting was finally worth. I'd wait forever and day for you, I think. But now it's too late.

As the minister gives you his blessing, I think that he's blessed enough just to be able to be that close to you. 

And as you smile at him, your face flushing a little with pride, I wonder why I couldn't tell you how I felt. How much I cared for you. How much I loved you. But it doesn't matter what I feel for you now, I realize. Nothing matters to me anymore. Just the fact that you're happy can make me feel like my whole purpose for being here, my purpose for living, has been fulfilled. 

The minister smiles at the two of you and declares you husband and wife. His final words make my whole body feel cold and I start to shiver. "You may kiss the bride," he says. 

You smile at him. You look each other in the eyes and then you lean up and kiss him. When it ends, with it ends all of my hopes and wishes. Because that's what they all were. Hopes and dreams. Wishes. Fantasies. You both turn and face the congregation. We all stand and applaud. 

I applaud your being happy. Not the marriage. I applaud the fact that you made your own decision to marry him, something you always had trouble with. Making your own decision, that is. I applaud the fact that you know you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Why, I don't know, but I applaud it anyway. I applaud the fact that _you_ didn't hide your feelings. _You_ told him how you felt. Wish I could have told you. I applaud the glow, the life I see flowing from you. You look so _alive_. Unlike me. The minute I found out you were getting married; I died. Not physically of course, but inside I died. I no longer have a spirit. It died with my dreams of you and me. I applaud _you_. Your happiness, your decisions, your feelings, your courage, your life, _you_. And now, I realize as I smile at the both of you, I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you're happy, so it doesn't matter if _my_ dreams are no more. All that matters is you. 

As you two start walking down the aisle, and into your new life together, I blink back unshed tears and smile. You look over at me for a second. The joy in your face, your eyes, it's unavoidable. You smile a big, beautiful smile at me and I manage one back. Then I mouth the words I should have told you so long ago.

"I love you." 

You look surprised for a moment then smile even wider and mouth back, "I love you too, Takeru."

You and your new husband walk away and I know that you don't love me the same way I love you, but I don't care. You're happy, and even if I have to sacrifice my own happiness for you, I'll do it. I'd do anything for you. I hope you know that, I tell your retreating back silently. Because I love you. I love you, Hikari.

Farewell.

*

AN: ^_^ This is sort of sad but I like it. What do you think? Review and let me know!


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